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While putting away clean socks one day, I found my girlfriend's vibrator. At first I thought it was an oversize tube of lipstick that for some reason required C batteries. When I finally understood what I was holding, I grimaced and dropped the chartreuse torpedo like it was plutonium.

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I had never bought and-or have played with a sex toy before. To be perfectly honest, the idea of inserting a phallic-like, silicone object up my ass had never sounded particularly appealing. However, with my newfound desire to become a better bottom—meaning able to have sex for longer than five minutes without asking my partner to pull out—a dildo appeared to be the best—and only—solution. So, in a last minute fleeting decision to avoid hypothermia earlier this month my friend and I found ourselves pitted in some hole-in-the-wall sex shop in Midtown, Manhattan.

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Dildos are the ultimate do-it-your-own-way sex toy. Which isn't to say that they are toys limited by the human form. Indeed, one of the wonders of dildos is that they come in shapes and sizes no human does.

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Illustration by Soofiya Andry. My First Time is a column and podcast series exploring sexuality, gender, and kink with the wide-eyed curiosity of a virgin. We all know your "first time" is about a lot more than just popping your cherry.

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First-time dildo user. Featured by EdenFantasys. Forum search.

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When did you get your first vibrator? Woman A: I got my first vibrator as a gag Secret Santa gift from a coworker friend at my high school job at a pizza place! Woman B: I was 21, in college.

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